Well here is another blow to my already beaten enjoyment. It seems that in 2 days the computer (that is in the church) is going to be moved to the nursery, meaning that I don`t have any idea when I will be next able to use it. I have began to use the computer quite abit, when I have nothing to do, I have even managed to download loads of anime, to put on DVD (I dont have a DVD player yet, but will in Muromi). So, my last luxury here is been taken away. It at times like this that the doubts of leaving are chucked out of the window. To be honest computer or no computer I am still going to leave, I have about one more week until I tell GAP and then we will see what the nursery says. I know I am going to have to have a long conversation about staying, but to be honest, there is nothin they can say or do to stop me. I have a place to go, I have cash to live on and I have a return ticket back to England, so my VISA would be invalid if I just leave. Sure some people will be sad, but in September they will have a new volunteer to take care of (or over take care of). I wish it was July 16th now. I am really excited about moving and if it isn`t what I expected and things go wrong, well then its only for 6 weeks and I can come home anytime I want. I can even stay until March 2006, but I doubt that will happen, for one thing I have to go to University in September and that means leaving my girlfriend behind, but we plan to stay together even when we are apart and can always save up to see her again. I like Japan, but I don`t like been alone in Nogata. It never bothered me when I was alone in Hull because I still had my family there and I enjoyed it. I do enjoy my time here in Japan and I am very happy I have had the chance to do this, but I don`t feel as though I am an adult. People treat me like a child and I just want to do things for myself. I appreciate when people help alittle, its just when people are telling me to be careful every step I take and when everypart of my life here is pretty much published to everyone it starts to piss me off. There was one time when I was told that "I belong to the nursery and I belong to Goda-sensei (the boss) " and that made me so angry. I am a volunteer here and that means that although they have given me a chance to come here it doesn`t mean they own me, I am still giving up my time to help them (although I feel as though I am not needed anyway, which kind of makes me feel I could be doing something productive with my time). I need to do something and meet people, not just bestuck in one place for 6 months. I guess it would have been nice if I was one yaer earlier because that would have meant I would have spent 3 months here then 3 months in Fukuoka and I would have had another volunteer close by, but because the other nursery stopped accepting people I was left alone in one place for 6 months.
Some things have been great here, like going to Nagasaki, homestaying and going to Kumamoto and Kagoshima with the Yamamoto family, meeting Yukari and going places like Haus Tein Bosch, Dazaifu and about a million more. There is alot of things to list what I have liked here, but there is also alot that I don`t like. In sort I am 100% certain about leaving and even if they take away my computer, they can`t take away my freedom. FREEDOM!!!!
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